This is a story that a lot of people still dont know about me, but some do. When I was 16 I was dating a guy who I was serious with, or as serious as you can be when you are 16. I thought I was in love, which in fact it wasnt at all.
I got pregnant while I was a sophomore in high school. Jamal was a senior ready to graduate. I found out I was pregnant on the day he graduated from high school. I broke the news to him that afternoon. He immediately told me to get an abortion. I thought about what he had said but also had my parents to face, having to tell them that I was pregnant. At this time I was one month along. I went home and avoided my parents. The next day, I knew that I couldnt ever have an abortion, while I was too young to be trying to raise a child, I was still responsible for having made that child. The next day I went to my mom and told her that I needed to talk to her, I told her I was pregnant, although she already knew because the doctor called the house and told her. She was waiting for me to come to her. My father already knew too.
My mom and dad sat me down and asked me what I was going to do. I told them I had no clue. We started talking about options, because at this time I still believed that Jamal was going to be there for me. My dad told me to face reality, Jamal had a basketball scholarship and wasnt going to give that up because I was pregnant. I refused to believe it. Sure enough, a month later I found out that Jamal refused to have anything to do with me and the baby and had another girl a month pregnant. He denied my baby and told me that I had to be pregnant by someone else, although I wasnt. That was the last I heard from Jamal, I never saw him again after the day that I told him I was pregnant.
My parents and I sat down and started figuring out what I was going to do with my life and my child that I had growing inside of me. I was two months pregnant at this time. I started looking at adoption. My parents are religious and we were looking into different agencies. I chose a Christian adoption agency. I met with the woman who ran the agency and fell in love with it. I began looking through differnet peoples books that they had put together. I looked at this one couple and immediately knew that I wanted them to raise my child. I began talking with them on the telephone. We set up a breakfast for them to come and meet me and my parents.
When I met them, I knew right away. They were who I wanted to raise my child. I was about three months at the time. I wanted to make sure that the people I had chosen knew what they were getting themselves into. I am white and was pregnant by a black man. They were both white and wanted them to know that they would face some ignorance because people would look down upon them like the wife had cheated or something like that. Not to mention the fact that when my little girl grew up she was going to be faced with it. They were prepared and were willing to face those issues. They attended every doctors appointment with me and even recorded some of the ultrasounds. They were the greatest people that had been brought into my life in a long time. They were a blessing.
They were there for the birth. The husband told me when the contractions were coming and the wife was there to help me breathe. They were my coaches during lamaz after all. They would drive every Tuesday after work, 2 hours to be there with me. The day after the birth I signed all of the adoption papers and named her what her parents wanted her named. I spent that whole night before up with her, just holding and talking to her. I knew what I was doing was the right thing. She deserved so much and these two wonderful people could give her all of that. They had so much love to give.
I watched them drive off with her in their backseat and it crushed me. It was the first time that I had cried over the whole thing. I was worried that they would never call me again, never let me see her. All these thoughts ran through my mind.
The following day they all vanished. She called me to see how I was doing. I once again felt everything was perfect and have never regreted it. My little girl is now 3 1/2 years old. She has a wonderful life with two wonderful parents who love her dearly. She is a gift, for both of them and for me. I still get letters and pictures. I get together with them as often as I can. When she is old enough to understand she will be told what took place. I love my littel girl and this is the best life that I could give her. Adoption was the best thing that I could ever have done, for both me and my child.
My mom and dad sat me down and asked me what I was going to do. I told them I had no clue. We started talking about options, because at this time I still believed that Jamal was going to be there for me. My dad told me to face reality, Jamal had a basketball scholarship and wasnt going to give that up because I was pregnant. I refused to believe it. Sure enough, a month later I found out that Jamal refused to have anything to do with me and the baby and had another girl a month pregnant. He denied my baby and told me that I had to be pregnant by someone else, although I wasnt. That was the last I heard from Jamal, I never saw him again after the day that I told him I was pregnant.
My parents and I sat down and started figuring out what I was going to do with my life and my child that I had growing inside of me. I was two months pregnant at this time. I started looking at adoption. My parents are religious and we were looking into different agencies. I chose a Christian adoption agency. I met with the woman who ran the agency and fell in love with it. I began looking through differnet peoples books that they had put together. I looked at this one couple and immediately knew that I wanted them to raise my child. I began talking with them on the telephone. We set up a breakfast for them to come and meet me and my parents.
When I met them, I knew right away. They were who I wanted to raise my child. I was about three months at the time. I wanted to make sure that the people I had chosen knew what they were getting themselves into. I am white and was pregnant by a black man. They were both white and wanted them to know that they would face some ignorance because people would look down upon them like the wife had cheated or something like that. Not to mention the fact that when my little girl grew up she was going to be faced with it. They were prepared and were willing to face those issues. They attended every doctors appointment with me and even recorded some of the ultrasounds. They were the greatest people that had been brought into my life in a long time. They were a blessing.
They were there for the birth. The husband told me when the contractions were coming and the wife was there to help me breathe. They were my coaches during lamaz after all. They would drive every Tuesday after work, 2 hours to be there with me. The day after the birth I signed all of the adoption papers and named her what her parents wanted her named. I spent that whole night before up with her, just holding and talking to her. I knew what I was doing was the right thing. She deserved so much and these two wonderful people could give her all of that. They had so much love to give.
I watched them drive off with her in their backseat and it crushed me. It was the first time that I had cried over the whole thing. I was worried that they would never call me again, never let me see her. All these thoughts ran through my mind.
The following day they all vanished. She called me to see how I was doing. I once again felt everything was perfect and have never regreted it. My little girl is now 3 1/2 years old. She has a wonderful life with two wonderful parents who love her dearly. She is a gift, for both of them and for me. I still get letters and pictures. I get together with them as often as I can. When she is old enough to understand she will be told what took place. I love my littel girl and this is the best life that I could give her. Adoption was the best thing that I could ever have done, for both me and my child.
No comments:
Post a Comment